So long ‘Terminal Lance.’ Hello ‘Terminal Airman’

Meet the new characters of "Terminal Airman."

Meet the new characters of “Terminal Airman.”

The creator of the wildly popular “Terminal Lance” web comic has decided to “jump branches” and portray life in the Air Force instead of the Marine Corps.

Marine veteran Maximilian Uriarte announced on Facebook Wednesday that “Terminal Airman” will debut next week. The move marks a radical shift for the comic formerly known as “Terminal Lance,” which appears weekly in Marine Corps Times.

Until now, Uriarte has focused on aspects of the Marine Corps that make the service stand out from the rest of the military – such as the Corps’ trademarked “knife hands” move, which retired Gen. James Mattis used to great effect at the battle of Thermopylae.

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But during a recent visit to Washington, D.C., senior Air Force officials offered Uriarte “a lot of money” to focus on airmen instead.

“When I told them I didn’t really know anything about the Air Force, they simply told me ‘it’s okay no one really does, just make it about two women,” he wrote. ‘Everyone knows we have great looking women,’

“The new series will follow the hilarious predicaments of Airmen Abby and Sanchez, which makes this the first all-female leading cast of a military comic strip. Since they never deploy, the series mostly just sticks to their adventures at Starbucks and the AAFES exchange.”

Predictably, readers of the now defunct “Terminal Lance” responded with a slew of memes and obscene messages that are too terrible to think about, let alone to repeat.

Reached for comment, retired Marine Lt. Gen. Lewis Burwell “Chesty” Puller called Uriarte a word that is unprintable – HINT, it’s another way to call a cat a kitten.

This is an April Fools’ Day story. None of it is true. Before you vent your rage on social media, remember that your mother reads everything you post.


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